


Into the Well

by Phoebe_Snow



Series: A Force of Two [32]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/M, Finn and Rey are made for each other, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Forgiveness, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:07:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25566388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebe_Snow/pseuds/Phoebe_Snow
Summary: Rey and Finn have falling out after she tells him what happened on Exegol.
Relationships: Finn/Rey
Series: A Force of Two [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/781764
Comments: 68
Kudos: 41
Collections: Finnrey Fanfic Connection





	1. Disappointment

**Author's Note:**

> Some time ago, Pan_2000 asked me to write a fic where Rey and Finn have an argument due to that nasty reylo kiss in TROS. I hate the idea of our two peanuts being apart, but it makes sense. His reaction in this story is going to be rough, and understandably so since Kylo has caused him a lot of pain. In my point of view, Finn has a right to be angry about that kiss - why wouldn’t he feel like that when it’s clear that he’s in love with her? 
> 
> I know that some people write him as a sweetheart who forgives everything bad Rey does at the snap of a finger. While I heartily believe in forgiveness and second chances, it would be illogical for him to just hug her and act like everything is okay without raging about it for a bit. Finn has been treated badly by the SW writers and this fandom as a whole, so I decided to give him a fanfic that he deserves.

* * *

"You told me that no one really knew you, but you thought _Kylo_ did?" Finn's fists were clenched at his sides and his heart pounded furiously against his chest. He couldn’t believe what he just heard from his best friend.

A month had passed after the events of Exegol and the resistance was helping planets remove stragglers from the sinister organization and the galaxy buzzed with excitement. Many soldiers and stormtroopers who either surrendered or were shot in firefights. The galaxy was alive and people had begun to stand up to the tyrants who kept them under their boots for the past twenty years.

Poe and Finn noticed how their group assigned to the Millennium Falcon was weary and they decided to have the ship land on a planet for a week of reprieve. They were all experienced fighters, but even fighters needed a break. So they settled on Naboo, the planet where General Organa's mother was from.

The queen, Bitha, had expressed a welcome to any resistance members who wanted food and shelter while they fought off the rest of the first order. Naboo was politically neutral, but they still had several outposts of first order troops and officers. After Exegol, the resistance came to Naboo and with the help of their population and the Gungans, the first order presence was wiped out quickly.

Rey spent a lot of time with Finn on Naboo, but she always seemed uneasy and nervous, like there was something bothering her. Her attitude changed after she came back from Exegol and Finn dreaded the reasons why. Now he knew the truth and it stung like a pain far worse than the slash on his back from Kylo Ren.

Finn had been so worried about Rey when he felt her die, but he was overjoyed when she showed up on Ajan Kloss. He inwardly hoped that Kylo was dead and who could blame him? He gave Finn a scar that he’d carry for the rest of his life; killed his own father, a man Finn looked up to; injured and manipulated his best friend for a year.

Kylo Ren or Ben, as Rey now referred to him, was redeemed before he died. He used force healing to bring Rey back to life, which exhausted his own life force. Honestly, Finn didn’t care if the force redeemed Kylo. He couldn’t reconcile himself to her new attitude about the man. She had hated Kylo for a year, so how could things have changed so immediately?

Rey rubbed her hands on her legs, looking at the ground. "At first, I thought he was nothing but a monster, Finn, but he was struggling with a pull to the light. I felt it in him and when we worked together to fight Palpatine, I knew that he finally let the light reach his heart. It’s hard to explain, but the connection we have...this dyad...it drew us to one another."

"When he saved me, I knew that he was Ben again. Maybe it happened after I healed him. On Exegol his scar was gone. He gave his life to save me and I was so happy that he was Ben again that I wasn’t thinking and I kissed him."

Finn supposed if Kylo hadn’t been someone he feared for most of his life, sliced his back open and hurt the people he loved, he would’ve seen the situation from Rey's perspective, but he couldn’t. Not only that, but he hated to think about this bond Rey shared with Kylo. It made him feel sick.

He shook his head. "I guess I’m too stupid to understand the _connection_ you share with him _,_ but I really don’t care. You _kissed_ him, Rey. Why else would you do that unless you had some kind of feelings for him?" Finn rubbed his head in an effort to dull the headache that just started bothering him. "It doesn’t matter to me if you think it was done in gratitude or not. After everything he did to us, to you, it’s disgusting."

Tears slid down Rey's face and he knew his words hurt her, but he was hurting too. She needed to hear the truth from someone and he was the only person who could deliver it. He was too angry and disappointed in her behavior to even feel the need to comfort her now. If anything, _he_ needed to be comforted. Maybe this revelation was a good thing.

For a year he thought the world of Rey and put her on a pedestal. They had gotten to know each other, but he was so busy admiring her that he didn’t notice when she did something foolish or dangerous. It’s not that her failings made her less in his eyes, but he was the closest person to her and instead of advising her when she did something wrong, he'd coddled her.

Finn forgave Rey for going to find Kylo a little over a year ago when Master Luke refused to come to the aid of the resistance. He never said it out loud, but he thought it was one of the dumbest things he’d ever heard of, going to see Kylo and hoping to turn him because he must have been their last hope. What had she been thinking?

Still, he hadn’t bothered to tell her that she should’ve been wiser. She needed to stop taking matters in her hands all by herself when she had no idea what she was getting into. Finn supposed it was partly because she’d been taking care of herself for most of her life and the habit of making decisions without another person's input had became the norm for her.

Normal or not, Rey wasn’t on Jakku anymore and she had to break herself from that behavior. It was either that or else, she’d find herself biting off more than she could chew. Finn wasn’t used to feeling so disappointed and upset with a person before, but Rey let him down and she'd crushed his heart.

A few months after they escaped the first order on Crait, Rey told Finn that she’d never been kissed before. It wasn’t unusual since her main concern was finding enough scraps to barter for veg meat packs. She didn't know anything about kissing, although from what she’d heard, it was supposed to be very pleasurable.

"I didn’t know if it was all it was cracked up to be, but at the least, I hoped whoever I kissed would be someone I could trust. Trust is hard to come by on Jakku. Everyone is out for themselves."

Her experiences seemed not to different from his own when he’d been part of the first order. Being a storm trooper meant you were a designation, a number and you had nothing to call your own. You were an expendable soldier, loyal only to the cause. Any failures to carry out a mission would result in reconditioning or termination.

Their pasts were very much alike albeit, in different ways. Thankfully, their paths diverged, but Finn didn’t feel so good as he stared back at Rey's teary eyes. Try as he might, he couldn’t stop thinking about that damn kiss.

Maybe it was selfish of him, but he had always hoped that he would’ve been the first man she’d ever kiss. Everyone in the resistance knew how much affection there was between the two of them and from the shy looks she sent his way at times, Finn sensed that she liked him in that way. Now he could only chuckle bitterly at his current situation.

Well, most of his life had been full of pain and turmoil. Why not add on to it?

He closed his eyes and looked away from her. Deep down he knew that his feelings for his best friend would never change, but right now, he couldn’t bear to be in the same room with her. "I just-I need time to think." He stood and began to walk out of the Falcon's cockpit.

"Finn..." Rey reached out to touch his arm, but he pulled away from her. The rejection hurt her, but she let her hand drop.

"I'm sorry." There was a tremble in her voice when she spoke.

"Me too." He walked down the gangplank of the Falcon and onto the grass. In a few minutes, he went past the hill and was completely out of her eyesight.


	2. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this chapter is a way for me to express my contempt with the poor handling of Rey and Finn's characters post-TFA and my disdain for that kiss with he who-shall-not-be-named. It’s not intended to be a chapter that bashes Rey, but it’s also not pulling any punches. Read it with an open mind and remember that this isn’t a cute, fluffy Finnrey fic like the ones I usually write. It’s unapologetically gritty.

* * *

Finn's feet took him down the grassy hill and into the direction of the city. To his relief, no one from the resistance was in sight. Good. He needed time alone to think or maybe just to stew in his emotions. Either way, he wasn’t eager for any sort of company.

The queen of Naboo had opened up a villa outside of the palace for resistance members to reside during their visit. The room he’d been given was the nicest he ever stayed in. It almost felt wrong to sleep in such a richly decorated bed, but he appreciated the queen's kindness and let himself enjoy it. His former life as a stormtrooper didn’t have any of the creature comforts he experienced on Naboo.

Ever since they defeated the first order at Exegol, he, Rey and Poe were seen as the main heroes of the resistance. Anonymity was an impossibility for them now, and it would probably stay that way for the rest of their lives.

Upon reaching the villa, Finn entered his room and shut the door hard in case someone was nearby and got the idea to bother him. He stretched out on the soft mattress and rubbed his forehead, frustrated and tired. He just couldn’t understand Rey's behavior concerning Kylo.

Oh, yeah. She said his name was "Ben" now, because he turned back to the light side of the force. Like that meant anything. His being redeemed didn’t make Finn forget all the horrible things he experienced by his hands. "Ben" ruined many lives throughout the galaxy and if he hadn’t died on Exegol, he would’ve been put on trial for crimes against the galaxy and sentenced to death for sure.

After everything that monster did, how could she just accept his sudden change and care enough to kiss him? Thinking about her lips on Ben's made Finn's head throb in a numb pain and he felt like he might throw up. Nothing in his life had hurt him as deeply as finding out that the girl he loved had kissed another man, and not just any man. A man who was complicit in the murder of millions.

How could she even stomach to be near him, redeemed or not?

There was only one reason that he could think of and it was terrifying. Rey must have had feelings for Ben. Finn recalled a conversation he’d had with Poe about aliens. Many of them on other planets, particularly the females, excused Kylo Ren's crimes and were obsessed with him. Some joined the first order in the hope of glimpsing him and others even made shrines for him in their homes.

He was the most unworthy person to deserve such attention and it disgusted Finn to know that there were individuals out there who thought he should receive such worship. Well, the good thing is he was dead and gone now. Unfortunately, his memory still haunted the people who were still here.

If Rey had feelings for Ben and that was why she kissed him, then Finn was finished with her. He didn’t care what anyone said about it either. It was unfathomable that she didn’t know how he felt about her. He may not have told her that he loved her to her face, but in the way he treated her and looked at her, it was obvious.

They never talked about their feelings for each other, but he always thought she cared for him as more than a friend. She was usually the one who engaged in physical affection first which was a surprise since he loved giving her hugs. 

Finn couldn’t count the number of times Rey took food from his plate if he didn’t finish it because she knew he wouldn’t mind. Sometimes she’d use the force to toss him things and said she was testing his reflexes. Almost every days of the week, she'd climb into his bunk and cuddle up next to him with her face buried in his chest. Taking all of that into consideration, how could she _not_ like him?

_If I think about this any more, my brain may explode._

The one person whose advice he needed in this moment was Leia. Sadly, the woman had died, giving up her life to reach her son. Why did it seem like everyone was willing to sacrifice things for that man?

Finn wasn’t a hateful person. He understood redemption, grace, second chances, all of it. Yes, Ben fought against the Emperor alongside Rey and he used force healing to bring her back to life, but that didn’t give him a pass for his misdeeds. It disturbed him to think that Rey might be doing that.

He was a stormtrooper once and so was Jannah, but they fought against their conditioning and left the first order out of their own free will. The force also had a big part to play in their stories. Perhaps, it had been guiding them the entire time. Finn knew little about how the force worked, but he would never forget how right Luke Skywalker's lightsaber felt in his hands when he fought Kylo on starkiller.

Even though he’d lost the battle, he impressed many people in the resistance with his ability. A former stormtrooper going head-to-head against Kylo Ren, managing to wound him and make it out alive? It was unheard of, so he got plenty of fascinated looks and respect from his peers.

A few months after the starkiller was destroyed, Leia asked him if he thought he might feel the call to be a Jedi himself. He had been surprised by her inquiry and said no. He wasn’t very sure about his force sensitivity back then and successfully wielding a lightsaber wasn’t a sign that he was supposed to be a Jedi either.

Leia never asked him again after he said he didn’t think being a Jedi was in his future, but sometimes he caught her watching him closely, as if she were trying to gauge a change in his feelings. The last words she said to him were as fresh in his mind as the day she spoke them.

_Don’t let your fears stop you from fulfilling your destiny._

It was amazing how she’d told him that when he’d lately been feeling afraid of what his force sensitivity could mean. Was there a possibility that he’d go to the dark side too? Could he handle the duty of a Jedi or would the pressure make him crumble?

He sighed and covered his face with his pillow. How he wished that Leia or Han were still alive so they could counsel him about his predicament. There was no one he could talk to who’d understand him. Well, no one except Rey.

The annoying thing was when she told him what happened on Exegol and started crying, as hurt as he was, he still wanted to hold her. It wasn’t until that moment that Finn realized he'd given his heart to Rey. She may have crushed it, but it was still intact. 

It’d be easier if they weren’t close at all, then he could just cut her off and be done with her, but that wasn’t the case. Rey was an important part of Finn's life and as angry as he was with her, he didn’t want to separate from her. They needed to have a serious talk and it had to be very soon, before they left Naboo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you guys know what real life group I was referring to in my story when I mentioned aliens on other planets who are obsessed with Kylo.👀


	3. What Must Be Said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I wasn’t exactly sure how to write this and I have less time to write because of my job - man, I love being a working girl!- but I finally got around to posting! When I was finishing this chapter, I started thinking about the song 'Think of Me' from The Phantom of the Opera. If you read the lyrics, you’ll see that it really suits the theme. 

* * *

Finn sighed and rubbed his forehead. It had been two weeks since he last spoke to Rey. He didn’t like being apart from her, but finding that she kissed Ben kriffing Solo had really wounded him. If he hadn’t walked away from her after she told him, he might have said something hurtful.

No one else in the resistance knew about the kiss - why would they? - but everyone noticed how Finn and Rey weren’t in each other’s orbit as usual. It was also hard to ignore the uncomfortable tension if they happened to be nearby one another.

Two days after Rey's confession, Poe asked Finn if everything was alright between the two of them. He merely replied that they were going through a rough patch. For once, he was tight-lipped about something and Poe got the hint, deciding to not bring it up anymore.

After the last two weeks he’d been brooding, Finn knew it was time for their talk, so he called Rey telepathically and asked her to come to his quarters. She quickly replied - whether that was a good or bad sign, he didn’t know - and said she’d be there shortly.

As he waited for her, Finn sat on the floor with his eyes closed. He thought of Han, the only man he’d had as a mentor who he could look up to, and wondered what he'd advise him to do in this situation.

_Listen with your heart, not your head, and don’t let your feelings run away with you, kid. Talk things out, even when you want to give up and walk out. You can never heal if you keep leaving. I learned that the hard way._

He had to smile at that. It almost seemed like Han was right next to him, saying those words. Who knew? Maybe he really _was_ in the room with him, but in spirit. Rey said that she’d encountered Luke on Ahch-To after he died. If that was the case, couldn’t a non Jedi have a ghost form too? He liked to think so. 

The idea of Han and Leia watching him from the beyond with love and support made Finn feel stronger and capable of doing whatever he set his mind to. He may have not known them long, but they were the closest thing to parents that he ever had and he cherished the memories he had of them.

A knock sounded at the door and his stomach clenched in anticipation as he called out "Come in." The knob twisted and Rey walked inside, her face guarded, yet still full of emotion. The strongest sensation he got from her was heartbreak. Physically, she was a mess. Her cheeks were red and bags were under her eyes, showing that she hadn’t gotten much sleep.

Once she sat down across from him, he began. "I want you to know that I’m not angry at you anymore. I’m just upset and confused. After everything Ben did to us, to the galaxy when he was Kylo, you kissed him like it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t understand that."

The brunette looked him in the eyes and took in a deep, shaky breath. He could tell that she was nervous, but he didn’t focus on it. He waited for her to explain her actions.

"I felt myself fading after I defeated Palpatine. My body was heavy and I knew I was going to die. When I fell to the ground, I didn’t even feel it. Then there was nothing but darkness, but it didn’t last long. I felt someone pull me back and once I opened my eyes and saw it was Ben, I got carried away." 

"I was grateful that he came to help me fight Palpatine earlier, but I thought he was dead after he was thrown over the cliff's edge. I was so caught up in the moment that I reacted without thinking clearly. All I could see was that Ben saved me and he couldn’t have done that unless he came to the light."

Finn stopped himself from scowling in displeasure. He didn’t want to frighten her, but he was still hurting. "So you kissed him out of an emotional high?" His words were sharp and he winced at how hard they sounded.

She flushed and nodded. "Yes, but it wasn’t out of love. I only kissed him because I was so grateful to him and happy that he turned."

"But you could've just hugged him or kissed his forehead. Kissing a person on the lips says that you have deep feelings for them. You know that, Rey." 

"Yes, but I don’t have deep feelings for him. I hated him for a long time, then I thought we had a kinship, that we were alike in some way. And on top of everything, I found out that I was Palpatine's granddaughter. I haven’t handled anything well lately." Her fingers tugged on the cloak that was wrapped around her body.

"I didn’t even cry or feel bad when Ben died. I was surprised, but it didn’t move me. Maybe...maybe it had something to do with our being a dyad. The bond Palpatine created between us could’ve clouded my judgment, influenced me somehow, but I know that doesn’t excuse my actions. I just wish I could go back and change things so I never kissed Ben at all." She lowered her head.

Finn felt a little weight lift from his shoulders. She did a very foolish thing, kissing Ben, but the fact that she admitted her wrongdoing and was sorry for it said a lot. Of course, one could argue that she only felt badly because the secret was out, but she had told Finn about the kiss out of her own free will. Nobody twisted her arm or threatened her to come clean.

The young man watched her facial expressions closely. Rey had never been good with hiding her feelings. If you wanted to know what she was thinking all you had to do was look in her eyes. What he saw there told him that she felt shame and embarrassment for what she did. He also detected fear, perhaps it was fear of losing him?

He swallowed. Now it was his time to speak, but he sensed that she knew what was coming.

"Do you know why it hurts me to know that you kissed Ben?" She didn’t reply, so he continued. "Because I’d hoped I would be the first man you kissed. I’ve been in love with you for the past year, Rey, and I don't think you can pretend to be ignorant of it."

"No. I can’t." Her lips trembled.

"I’ve had so many dreams about me and you and what we’d do after we defeated the first order. I figured we would start our own Jedi temple and train a new generation of learners, rescue the children that were stolen from their families to become storm troopers. I even imagined that we’d get married one day." He hated that his voice shook, but he was incapable of stopping it.

"I always figured you and I would be a part of each other's lives forever, but now...I don’t know if it’ll be like how I'd hoped."

"I'm so sorry, Finn. I-if you never want to see me again, I'll understand. But please, _please_ don’t hate me. I couldn’t bear it if you hated me!" Her face was red and she wiped her eyes with her hands, but more teardrops took their place as she bawled.

He wanted to stay away, but seeing her weeping twisted his insides and spurred him to action. Finn took her by the arms and shook her to get her attention. "Stop that, Rey. Yes, I'm hurt and I'm disappointed, but I could _never_ hate you. I don’t know if I would’ve done the same thing in your place, but it’s pointless to think about now. We can’t change the past, no matter how badly we want to. You and I have gone through a lot in the last year and I think some soul searching would be good for both of us."

These words weren’t lost on her and she stared at him in shock as the implication of their meaning came through. "You mean...you’re not going with the Falcon when we leave Naboo?"

"No, I’ve talked to Queen Bitha recently and she supplied me with a captured enemy freighter and squadron of fighters. We’ll be searching for the missing children that the first order stole from their families. Poe, Jannah and some of the other resistance members have signed up, so there’ll be familiar faces around."

"Oh." Rey had no idea how to respond to this news. Her face was red and damp from all the crying she’d done, but her eyes had stopped producing tears now that her mind was on an entirely different subject. "I understand. Of course that’s important to you. I think that’ll be a good mission for you, Finn." 

"So do I." He could see that she was struggling to keep a happy disposition through her surprise. "I’ll, uh, make sure to send you updates of our progress."

"I’d appreciate that, thank you." The corners of her lips lifted ever so slightly and she headed to the door. When her hand was on the knob, she hesitated and turned back to look at him. She reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing it softly before letting go. "Take care of yourself, Finn."

"You too, Rey." His gaze was soft and he watched her leave with a heaviness in his heart. He knew he’d always love her, but for the moment, their paths needed to diverge so they could think clearly without being in each other’s space. It wasn't an easy choice, but it was the most logical. Maybe they could start over again someday.

A whisper in his heart said that a second chance would happen sooner than he thought.


	4. It's Meant to Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! I apologize for the slow update, but I needed to press the pause button until I had the perfect inspiration to complete it. I consider this story one of my very best and I wanted to keep the same level of quality in each chapter. I appreciate all of the lovely praise and feedback you guys have given me. Thank you all for reading!

* * *

For a long time Rey had no idea who she was or why she’d been left on Jakku. More than that, she longed for someone to love her. She was so busy looking for acceptance when it had been right in front of her all along.

Ben Solo did save her life, but he didn't know her like Finn did. Finn had always been by her side from the moment they met. Even though they’d been strangers, he looked out for her welfare and continually put her safety above his own. He knew all of her quirks, always made her smile even when she didn’t feel like it, knew when to comfort her and when to step away. 

It was true that she was hopelessly clueless in the ways of romance, but she’d heard the whispers of her fellow resistance members. It was a well-known fact that, from the way Finn acted around her, he had feelings for her. Over time she began to suspect that he had even grown to love her.

The brunette sighed and lifted the bowl of tea to her lips, finishing the hot beverage. Living on Tatooine the last four months hadn’t been easy, especially since she was so used to Finn's presence. However, it was necessary for her to clear her mind and really think about how she felt and what she wanted in life.

After so much time by herself, she’d come to realize two things: she'd been a fool for kissing Ben and she loved Finn. He was her best friend and they may be separated, but they were still strongly attached to one another. Whenever she meditated, she could feel him in the force and he was in her thoughts every day.

She couldn’t do this anymore; she had to see him as soon as possible. With her made up, she loaded her belongings onto the Falcon and took off to a planet called Rak'eshi. It was the last place she had contacted Finn a week ago. Thinking ahead, she sent a transmission to Poe and he confirmed they were still on the planet, but he didn’t tell his friend that she was coming.

_Good_ , she’d thought. _I want this to be a surprise. Hopefully, it won’t be an unpleasant one._

* * *

Finn smiled at the child he held in his arms. Little Ioka was just a two year old twi'lek, but small for her age. She was one of many kidnapped children Finn and his unit had liberated in the past four months. Luckily, they hadn’t needed to fight much.

After the news of the first order being destroyed reached all of their allies and outposts, officers and stormtroopers alike started taking off and abandoning their posts, afraid of being hunted down by the resistance. Some were caught and sentenced for their crimes and others were promptly executed.

_It serves them right after the lives they destroyed_ , Finn thought, but he was careful not to make himself bitter. He knew this mission would hit close to home for him, but he refused to be led by his darker emotions. Meditating and practicing his lightsaber wielding every day was a big help and sometimes, he could feel Rey.

He missed her and although he was glad to have the company of Poe, Rose and Jannah, Rey was in a league all her own. Their relationship had always been special and Finn had no doubt in his mind that the force brought them together.

Ioka sniffled and he set her down in the crib that the natives had made for her. Right now, his unit was staying on Rak'eshi until they could find suitable parents for all of the little children they found. Many of the aliens on the planet had been helpful finding the kidnapped children loving guardians.

Tomorrow, a young farming couple who'd been allies to the resistance planned to spend time with Ioka and if they got along well with her, she would be given into their custody. Finn would miss the girl - they bonded in the past month and she followed him everywhere - but he knew she needed a home with a mother and father to raise her. The good thing was he could always visit.

He watched Ioka sleep for a moment, then walked down his ship's gangplank to breathe in the fresh air. His unit had set up camp in the outskirts of town in the midst of a large field. The grass was wild, grown so high that it reached his thighs. Wind blew in the air, sending a light whistle in his ears as it went.

Finn stood in silence with his eyes closed as he took three steps forward. His arm stretched outwards and he summoned the lightsaber that hung from his belt, catching and activating it in one swift move. The strokes he made were fast and precise. He moved with the sword as if it were an extension of his own body.

The young man pretended he were facing an enemy and parried, thrust and feinted like his life depended on it. After ten minutes of this nonstop movement, he stopped and took in a deep breath. Sweat had accumulated on his forehead and he wiped it away with his sleeve. 

During his travels, Finn read the Jedi texts and managed to construct his own lightsaber. It was a big step forward for him and he was proud of it. The color of the kyber crystal he used was blue. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like that was the color he was meant to choose. It reminded him of Luke’s lightsaber when he’d dueled Kylo on starkiller what seemed like ages ago. 

That saber belonged in his hands. It just felt right when he wielded it. True, he'd lost that battle with Kylo Ren and it wasn’t his sword either, but the duel had awakened a buried part of him that slowly began to surface. He may not be a full-fledged Jedi yet, but he was learning.

"You’ve come so far already."

The person behind him hadn’t taken him completely by surprise, but he still felt a thrill hearing her voice. Slowly, he turned to see Rey standing a few yards away. She sent him a smile that was full of nervousness. It was clear that she was unsure how he’d take her visit, yet she couldn’t put up her guard with him. Right now, she was vulnerable.

"I guess so," he replied, shutting off his lightsaber. "It’s been hard, working on my skills by myself. I like having a partner."

Her face softened and the anxiety ebbed away once he said those words. "So do I. Finn, I hope I’m not stepping over any boundaries, but I had to see you." She looked at the ground, feeling embarrassment as she remembered what she’d done a year ago.

"I’ve done some soul searching just like you said I should and it’s been eye-opening. Going to Kylo was a bad move. I was so dejected and lost on Ahch-To. Luke didn’t want to help me and I let Kylo manipulate me into thinking we were similar. I should’ve been smarter, I should’ve refused to speak to him, but I let him influence me. I allowed my emotions to override my thinking. There’s no excuse for that and it’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life."

Tears began rolling down her cheeks, but she didn’t let that stop her. She had to get everything off her chest. "I think that the dyad bond between us had something to do with my erratic behavior that time. Besides that, finding out that Palpatine was my grandfather made me a mess."

"I was so conflicted about everything and I made bad decisions that I’m not proud of or like. You were right to confront me about...that kiss. Once it was over, I wondered why I did it. I hadn’t felt any sympathy for him when he died, just emptiness." She took in a deep breath. "You deserve better than me, but I’m asking for another chance. I know you may not be able to forget my past, but could you forgive me?"

"Yes." The corner of Finn's lips lifted in a slight smile. "I already did." He understood that Kylo - well, Ben had been redeemed and gradually, the hatred he felt towards the man ebbed away. It wouldn’t do any good because he was dead now. Finn couldn’t say he was unhappy about that fact.

She inched closer, still cautious. "I’m sorry I never talked to you about us. I knew that you were attracted to me and I was - _am_ \- attracted to you too. At first, I thought we could try for a relationship, but then I had doubts. What if it didn’t work and we ended up hating each other?"

"The thought of losing you was too much to bear. I’d have you in my life any way that I could and the safest way was to be friends. That’s why I never asked you about your feelings. I’m a coward, I know."

"That’s not true. You _were_ a coward, but you’re not one anymore. The fact that you actually came to see me instead of hiding away shows that you've grown. I’m glad you were brave enough to do it." He reached out for her hand.

Rey blinked, realizing that this time he was touching her out of his own free will. That made her heart pound in excitement. She grasped his warm hand in hers, held it to her lips and kissed the knuckles gently.

"I've missed you, Finn."

Voice husky, he said, "You don’t know how good it is to hear that." Finn's eyes filled with tears and he moved forward to wrap his arms around her and hug her tightly. "I missed you."

"I missed _you_." She clung to him, fingers gripping his shirt. "I...I love you, Finn."

"And I love you, Rey." He pulled back to gaze into her eyes with a warm expression, then he frowned. "Don’t think this gets you off the hook though. I’m still disappointed in you and it’ll take time for me to trust you again..."

"I know, but I swear I’ll make it up to you." Sincerity rang in her words and he nodded his head.

"I believe you."

Leaning down, he placed his forehead to hers in a show of affection. He was glad to finally have Rey in his arms again. Forgiveness happened to be fertile soil for the force to work in. One day in the near future, Rey would see Finn's back and register that his scar had disappeared. Because of his decision to let go of his anger, he’d been healed from the mark that he would’ve carried his entire life.

The sorrows of yesterday had come and gone. Today, the sun shone with the promise of a new beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Drop by my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/greenfleeze) or [instagram](http://instagram.com/first.lady.romanogers) and say hi!💞


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